The phrase “dysfunctional love-hate” accurately describes both my relationship with Vice Magazine and the magazine itself. I’ve got to hand it to them, though–they’re freaking hilarious, and they rip into every belief with equal rancor.

One thing’s guaranteed, though: regardless of party affiliation, this month’s Do’s and Don’ts column is as pants-wettingly hilarious as it is unsafe for work. Make sure you’re a) at home or b) blessed with a cool boss, and c)not reading with stuff in your mouth. It’s totally gonna end up on your keyboard.