Happy Halloween, people. When you were trick-or-treating, which did you like better: getting like, two lovingly handmade cookies from the old lady up the street, or going to that one guy’s house who let you shovel fistfuls of high-quality mass-produced candy into your pillowcase?

In this instance, “high quality mass-produced” is a euphemism for Reese’s products.

So rather than like, write something original that nobody wants, I’ll be shovelling pre-made awesomeness into your eyeballs all day today.

Starting here: every single murder from every single Friday the 13th movie, compressed into roughly seven minutes: