During the time that I was in Royal Quiet Deluxe (chicken band), I was invited to a large dinner with the Reverend Al Sharpton. Everyone had to go around the table and describe who they were and what they did. I was neither an accomplished member of the community in Norfolk, nor was I African-American. Everyone else at the table was both. I just kinda ran with a description of the band.

It did not go well. At all. In fact, the evening rippled throughout my life for about ten years, causing tremendous embarassment in a comic book store this summer.

Here’s a video of me telling the story on stage at The Moth:

I think I’ve just about milked this chicken band thing for all it’s worth now …

You can see the companion to this story here:

Royal Quiet Deluxe, Chicken Band

A story by The Moth’s Jim O’Grady here:

Jim O’Grady on “Respect”

And a story by The Moth’s Juliet Wayne here:

Juliet Tells the Tale of ‘Mannequin Dan’

Baroque Obama, originally uploaded by givepeasachance.

I know, I know.
I swear, there will be a decline in Obama-themed posts really soon. But this is such a solid pun, I couldn’t resist.

Juliet lives like rednecks drive: mashing down the gas with the radio blasting and howling lusty swear words all over the open road. Her stories are full of love and rage, heartbreak and mayhem and sex and drugs and the kind of laughs that rattle the optic nerves. She’s far and away my most exciting new friend from the Moth, thrilling and kind and just a little dangerous — the kind of person who might throw your car keys into the river and then get you to laugh about it.

Having an enlarged heart is a dangerous medical condition: oversized hearts are tender and fragile and wear out easy. But an enlarged heart is also the biggest ball in the storyteller’s cannon. People with giant hearts fall in love with everything in the entire world and get their hearts broken every single time and brother, do they have some stories to tell.

Juliet’s heart is a massive flaming comet, flying all over the place and collecting all kinds of dirt and debris and you just can’t wait to hear where it’s been.

Here she is telling a story at The Moth a few months ago, on the theme of “Respect.”

I’m going to be appearing at a story show at her house in Philadelphia this weekend along with a couple other Moth regulars and a band called the Resin Ballz. It promises to be nothing short of awesome.

You can see a story by The Moth’s Jim O’Grady here:

Jim O’Grady on “Respect”

And two of my stories here:

Royal Quiet Deluxe, Chicken Band
Reverend Al Sharpton Hates Royal Quiet Deluxe, Chicken Band

My friend Jim O’Grady is a Moth GrandSLAM contest winner — a great storyteller and a great guy. He’s been a reporter for the New York Times, and works for some mysterious think tank that he says is “physically located on Wall Street, but in no way associated with finance.”

The thing about these story shows is that they let anybody onstage, which gives the show its spirit and beauty. It keeps it from being the province of writers and actors and “who do you know” and lets the voice of the people come through. It also allows people to weep onstage and do some lame standup comedy from time to time. It’s always a crap shoot, and the surprises are the best part.

Jim’s reliably awesome — he has his nights when he kills, sure. But even when he’s not at his best, he’s still really really good, and whenever he gets picked to come to the stage the audience is in for a treat.

Here he is at a Moth StorySLAM this summer, on the theme of “Respect.”

You can see a story by The Moth’s Juliet Wayne here:

Juliet Respects ‘Mannequin Dan’

And two of my stories here:

Royal Quiet Deluxe, Chicken Band
Reverend Al Sharpton Hates Royal Quiet Deluxe, Chicken Band

Today is national fix-the-country day, and it’s gonna be a long one. No matter what side you’re on, you’re probably sick of the campaigning by now. As a little distraction from all the election-related news you’re sure to be drowning in, I thought I’d post a video of me telling the story of Royal Quiet Deluxe, (chicken band) at The Moth.

By way of comparison, you can read a written version of the story here.

The story links to one of our recordings, made with a primitive drum machine, delay/loop pedal, and my tireless prattling.

The following track, though, is a different sort of sound collage. We recorded it on the front porch of Tim’s parent’s place out in Botetourt County, VA, one hot summer evening. You can hear crickets and locusts in the background, something I think is pretty cool. I am playing the typewriter as percussion here, Tim is playing guitar, and the chickens are pecking and vocalizing. Tim mixed in a recording about Exotic Newcastle Disease in Southern California that was recorded over the telephone many years later, and presto — you have:

Exotic Newcastle Disease, by Royal Quiet Deluxe

There’s one more story in this saga. I’ve told it onstage at a Moth event recently, and I’m waiting to get ahold of the video so I can crunch it and post it here — and I’m working on the text version for those of you that want the full-on boxed-set experience. Suffice it to say that while the Internet has helped me find a whole new audience for this band that I never thought existed, I am 100 percent positive that the Reverend Al Sharpton still thinks the whole concept of Royal Quiet Deluxe is the stupidest thing he’s ever heard.

You can see a story by The Moth’s Jim O’Grady here:

Jim O’Grady on “Respect”

And a story by The Moth’s Juliet Wayne here:

Juliet Tells the Tale of ‘Mannequin Dan’

As I type this, zero hour for the US general election is drawing ridiculously close.  By now, most voters have made their choices… even if they’re claiming to be “undecided” just so people will pay attention to them.  Jeff and I are solid on who we’re not voting for, and I was pretty much a lock on who would be getting my (at this point purely symbolic) little slice of the New York popular vote… until I saw these:

And man… now I’m thinking write-in.

I mean, come on…the presidential portrait has already been painted!

(Campaign Sticker image by Glenn Cook.  RoboCop and Unicorn Blastin’ Some Shit image by Lindsay Holman.  Both via Olav Rokne’s set on Flickr.)

Clearly, France’s attempt at faking a moon landing was hindered by budget constraints.