This is too fascinating and revolting (which, for me, is a synonym for fascinating) to pass up. It’s probably safe for work and a good lesson in why you shouldn’t go around stealing food out of the work fridge.From the Vaginal Food & Cuisine section at MyVag.net — Don’t Try This At Home. Here’s a telling excerpt:

As I love my girlfriend so much that it hurts, and I want to have her in everything I do, I decided to produce yoghurt with my girlfriend’s lactobacillus. I bought a yoghurt machine, which is just an electric contraption that keeps small cups constantly at body temperature. I put plain milk in each cup, and then with the full and loving help of my girlfriend I swabbed a bit of her vaginal juices and put a small bit in each cup. I then mixed the contents in each cup, plugged the machine and waited overnight.

The results were fabulous! … I have taken a few cups to work, which I store in the office fridge. A female co-worker pinched one from me, ate it, and liked it so much that she is asking me where I got it, but I do not dare tell her where it came from!

One thing is clear. This is gateway behavior for full-throttle sexual cannibalism. You totally know the deal: this guy is all chunky cardigans and cups of Earl Grey tea and little weird food projects like this now. But once he works out that he can have this woman he loves so much literally coursing through his bloodstream those beady little eyes are going to light up like candles only an electric chair can snuff out.

This is Rachel, my girlfriend. She’s beautiful, sweet, loving, and endlessly patient with my constant mood swings. She’s also sort of bionic.

When she was a little girl, she started developing scoliosis pretty badly. Doctors eventually opened her back right up and fused two titanium rods to her increasingly unruly spine.

“That oughta teach it a thing or two,” everyone thought. Rachel healed up, and life proceeded normally, with flawless posture.

Now, though, there are some new problems. See that bump right beside the scar there? That’s not her shoulder blade — that’s the ends of her titanium rods, bending away from the spine and sticking out. It’s causing some problems. Her back is sore, there’s some numbness.

Tomorrow afternoon, Rachel’s going under the knife again. This time the surgeons are going to go in and saw off the ends of those rods, get ‘em to lay down a little bit. For some reason I envision her doctor using bolt cutters, those big clippers people use in the city to steal bikes. I doubt those are in the toolbox, though.

They say it’s no big deal, she’s only going to be in the hospital for two days and will be up and around in a week. If you ask me, two days is an eternity in an age when heart attack victims are all but shoved out the door in a shopping cart after their surgery.

I know this is no big deal, and that everything’s going to be just fine. But man, I’m worried all the same. Say a little prayer for us, please?